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The Menopausal Mama

The Menopausal Mama

Life is meant to be enjoyed! So have that brownie or second glass of wine. There is no judgement amongst the foodies.

— Desiree Dunning
The Menopausal Mama is a group for women of a certain age and the people who love them! Some are Mama’s; some are Gigi’s or Mimi’s; some could never have children; and others just love us! But one thing is certain; everyone here is FABULOUS and could use a good laugh!
 
To put this in perspective, I experienced symptoms for well over a year before my Mom mentioned that I might be menopausal. It took two additional months before it was confirmed. One because I was blindsided. Another because I had to get off the pill for one month prior to testing.
 
If I invited you to join The Menopausal Mama, I did it from a place of love and expectation that you will be around for another 49 or 50 years!
 
I get it! Some of you aren’t here yet or don’t want to talk about it. And you don’t have to! But we’ll be here when you are ready.
 
Perimenopause starts out subtly. Sometimes it hits you upside the head before you even realize what happened!
 
A few years ago, I started experiencing severe headaches. I thought I was just stressed out. Four years ago, I started having a quick and urgent need to pee—all the time! About 18 months ago, I started to get irritable and moody. From there it was like an avalanche. I had:
 

Anxiety (that I wouldn’t acknowledge)
Mood swings
Hot flashes
Fatigue
Dry skin
Dry hair
Irritable
Vaginal dryness
Low libido
Sweating
Depression
Chills
Sleep problems
Difficulty concentrating
Memory problems
Breast soreness
Gastrointestinal issues
Muscle tension
Headaches

  
I’m not helpless! I went to the doctor—I went to several specialist; but nobody ever mentioned that I might be perimenopausal! Furthermore, the symptoms were getting worse because the doctors were treating individual symptoms, not the root cause. I really felt like I was going crazy!
 
Back in September, I went to my gynecologist and asked him to test my hormones. He said that I needed to get off the pill for one month before he could test me. But he also heavily cautioned me about using alternative birth control methods because women can get pregnant during perimenopause.
 
What I didn’t know was that he only tested my estrogen level. He called and told me that I was perimenopausal and put me on a low dose of estrogen and progesterone. I thought I was set, but that was not the case.
 
My symptoms were getting worse, so I went to my urologist. She ran a test on ALL my hormones (estrogen, progesterone and testosterone). Everything was extremely low. Therefore, she prescribed bioidentical hormones and inserted testosterone pellets in my hip. I thought that was the end, but it wasn’t. My mojo lasted two weeks.
 
I hadn’t really processed the fact that I was going through perimenopause.
 
I went on with life. I was a wife, mother, daughter, sister, writer, volunteer, etc. and time marches on. Besides, the holidays were right around the corner and I have a husband and six-year-old to think about.
 
We had too many major things going on simultaneously! I rarely discussed them with friends. I couldn’t sleep. I felt like crap. I was so tired that I didn’t want to drive, yet I was all over the place. I stopped wanting to be around anyone. I was extremely anxious! I stopped doing nice things for myself. I shut down…
 
My breaking point was over something ridiculous.
 
We were having a Christmas Eve gathering for some family and I was dead set on using the Christmas dishes. However, everything was incredibly hectic and the dishes were packed away in storage. My husband suggested that we use paper plates. I got pissed-off! So, we had an argument about dishes.
 
On Christmas Day, my husband and I had a long talk. He said that he had never see me like this. Two days later I went to my internist and told him ALL the symptoms simultaneously. He told me two things: first, that I was experiencing high-functioning anxiety and two, that I needed to address all my menopause symptoms with someone who specialized in hormones.
 
My internist did several things. He prescribed an anxiety medication; suggested that I speak bluntly to my husband about everything I was experiencing; talk to a therapist; workout; and start enjoying life again!
 
While my hormones were not an overnight fix, they are much improved. The anxiety is also better. Furthermore, I am writing again and expressing how I feel about—well just about everything!
 
Here’s the bottom line:
 
YOU HAVE A CHOICE TO MAKE!
 
Are you going to live a good life or curl-up in a ball and let life pass you by? I made my choice to work on myself and enjoy a very blessed life!
 
So why this? Why now? Why would I put myself out there for this blog?
 
1.    It’s taboo!
2.    There is so much negativity associated with menopause; especially on the internet!
3.    All women will experience menopause at some point.
4.    Someone needs to open the door for this conversation.
 
Why the hell not me!!!

This is the first post on my new blog. I’m just getting this new blog going, so stay tuned for more. Subscribe below to get notified when I post new updates. The Menopausal Mama Facebook Group

Three Little Birds

I am not a crier. However, I just spent the last two Sunday’s going through a lot of my son Andrew’s stuff and crying profusely! He’s fine, we’re fine, everything is fine.

In a nutshell, we have first-world problems!

I feel so bad for Andrew! Like kids all over the world, he’s being home schooled until further notice. That means that we won’t be back to school until second grade (next year). This is difficult and necessary for many reasons. I won’t preach about social distancing. That’s not the point.

While ciphering through his things, I saw artwork, schoolwork, books, and a ton of memorabilia. It represents all the stages of his almost seven years.

Andrew is a serious extrovert!

He’s too young for social media. We only allow 30 minutes of tablet time per day. Play dates are out of the question until further notice. Instead, we play board and card games. We do math, read, cook, puzzles, play outside, construct Lego’s, et al. We’re constantly doing something.

Andrew is incredibly smart! He’s won several reading awards. He’s also funny, charming and sweet. Let’s be honest, my son could sell ice to an Eskimo. His teachers and fellow students love him!

I’ve volunteered with his school for the past two years. I know every child in his class. I know his teachers and the administration.

But here’s the problem: I am not a teacher!

Teaching my own child feels like I am rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic! Cue Celine Dion’s My Heart Will Go On.

I feel so many things right now!

I am grateful! Grateful for my family and the fact that we are healthy, have each other AND all our basic needs are met.

I love God, family and life!

I am usually optimistic. But my family is now on week four of hard quarantine due to the nature of my husband’s job. i.e. I leave the house once a week to get necessities.

I’m angry and sad.

I feel like my son and his classmates are missing out! Yes, graduating seniors have it worse. I’ve heard it many times. But elementary education is the foundation for almost everything you do in life. You can’t expect to put young elementary school kids on Zoom or any other media platform. They’re still babies!

My reality is that I am mourning my family’s life pre-pandemic virus! So are many of you.

There. I said it. Time to deal with it!

I’m tired of hearing that I should be grateful for what I have! I am. But that doesn’t ease this mama’s broken heart!

Like my son, I am an extrovert. I miss talking to the waitresses that run our favorite hole in the wall restaurants. I miss talking to people in the park. I even miss going to the grocery store.

I know that this is the kind of thing my son misses. The every day social interactions of life and first grade.

Reality check—life is like a rollercoaster. But that’s COLD COMFORT to a six-year-old extrovert!

The reality is that I WILL make it better for my son in numerous ways. I can help him learn about everyday life and continue to give him my full love and support.

BUT I CAN’T fix this situation! And isn’t that what every parent wants? To make everything better for their children!

In the meantime, I continue to make the lemonade that everyone on social media says I should be drinking.

My emotions are at Mach 3. I’m at the—Matthew McConaughey playing naked bongos as police arrive—level of quarantine. As we say in Austin, let your freak flag fly!

I realize that nothing will ever be the same.

I have no control over the virus, the political fallout or its socioeconomic impact on the world.

Here’s what I can control: my actions and reactions…

Each day, I thank God for all that I have! I ask what I can do to get my family and I beyond this situation. I hunker down and try to remember that this is temporary.

I practice social distancing. I try to spread joy! I listen to a lot of music. I watch the 80’s movies of my youth. I celebrate lives well lived. But most of all, I’m trying to embrace my serious case of cabin fever!

And right now, that’s all any of us can do.

Three Little Birds—Bob Marley

Don’t worry about a thing
‘Cause every little thing gonna be alright……

The Menopausal Mama

The Menopausal Mama is a group for women of a certain age and the people who love them! Some are Mama’s; some are Gigi’s or Mimi’s; some could never have children; and others just love us! But one thing is certain; everyone here is FABULOUS and could use a good laugh!

To put this in perspective, I experienced symptoms for well over a year before my Mom mentioned that I might be menopausal. It took two additional months before it was confirmed. One because I was blindsided. Another because I had to get off the pill for one month prior to testing.

If I invited you to join The Menopausal Mama, I did it from a place of love and expectation that you will be around for another 49 or 50 years!

I get it. Some of you aren’t here yet or don’t want to talk about it. And you don’t have to! But we’ll be here when you are ready.

Perimenopause starts out subtly. Sometimes it hits you upside the head before you even realize what happened!

A few years ago, I started experiencing severe headaches. I thought I was just stressed out. Four years ago, I started having a quick and urgent need to pee—all the time! About 18 months ago, I started to get irritable and moody. From there it was like an avalanche. I had:

  • Anxiety
  • Mood swings
  • Hot flashes
  • Fatigue
  • Dry skin
  • Dry hair
  • Irritable
  • Vaginal dryness
  • Low libido
  • Sweating
  • Depression
  • Chills
  • Sleep problems
  • Difficulty concentrating
  • Memory problems
  • Breast soreness
  • Gastrointestinal issues
  • Muscle tension
  • Headaches

I’m not helpless! I went to the doctor—I went to several specialist; but nobody ever mentioned that I might be perimenopausal! Furthermore, the symptoms were getting worse because the doctors were treating individual symptoms, not the root cause. I really felt like I was going crazy!

Back in September, I went to my gynecologist and asked him to test my hormones. He said that I needed to get off the pill for one month before he could test me. But he also heavily cautioned me about using alternative birth control methods because women can get pregnant during perimenopause.

What I didn’t know was that he only tested my estrogen level. He called and told me that I was perimenopausal and put me on a low dose of estrogen and progesterone. I thought I was set, but that was not the case.

My symptoms were getting worse, so I went to my urologist. She ran a test on ALL my hormones (estrogen, progesterone and testosterone). Everything was extremely low. Therefore, she prescribed bioidentical hormones and inserted testosterone pellets in my hip. I thought that was the end, but it wasn’t. My mojo lasted two weeks before it disappeared.

I hadn’t really processed the fact that I was going through perimenopause.

I went on with life. I was a wife, mother, daughter, sister, writer, volunteer, etc. and time marches on. Besides, the holidays were right around the corner and I have a husband and six-year-old to think about.

We had too many major things going on simultaneously! I rarely discussed them with friends. I couldn’t sleep. I felt like crap. I was so tired that I didn’t want to drive, yet I was all over the place. I stopped wanting to be around anyone. I was extremely anxious! I stopped doing nice things for myself. I shut down…

My breaking point was over something ridiculous.

We were having a Christmas Eve gathering for some family and I was dead set on using the Christmas dishes. However, everything was incredibly hectic and the dishes were packed away in storage. My husband suggested that we use paper plates. I got pissed-off! So, we had an argument about dishes.

On Christmas Day, my husband and I had a long talk. He said that he had never see me like this. Two days later I went to my internist and told him ALL the symptoms simultaneously. He told me two things: first, that I was experiencing high-functioning anxiety and two, that I needed to address all my menopause symptoms with someone who specialized in hormones.

My internist did several things. He prescribed an anxiety medication; suggested that I speak bluntly to my husband about everything I was experiencing; talk to a therapist; workout; and start enjoying life again!

While my hormones were not an overnight fix, they are much improved. The anxiety is also better. Furthermore, I am writing again and expressing how I feel about—well just about everything!

Here’s the bottom line:

YOU HAVE A CHOICE TO MAKE!

Are you going to live a good life or curl-up in a ball and let life pass you by? I made my choice to work on myself and enjoy a very blessed life!

So why this? Why now? Why would I put myself out there for this blog?

  1. It’s taboo!
  2. There is so much negativity associated with menopause; especially on the internet!
  3. All women will experience menopause at some point.
  4. Someone needs to open the door for this conversation.

Why the hell not me!!!